Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Gotta Buy Me a Loaf of Wonderbread

Mystery solved...

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain.

I stumbled across this outfit on You Tube today. They are simply priceless!

President Bush's Olympic Speech

President Bush is rehearsing his speech for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games.He begins his remarks with "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!"Immediately his speech writer rushes over and whispers in the President's ear: "Mr. President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath..."

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

High Def

Can you spot the new toy?

Got it up and running just in time to see Game 6 of the NBA finals. While I watched it on high def, unfortunately the Lakers came out with the low score and Boston won the Championship. For Kobe, his prayers went unanswered.

This Just In...

...and now for something completely different. Music: Live From Austin Tx by Kinky Friedman

Monday, 16 June 2008

Latest Photos From Mars

Book: A Prisoner of Birth by Jeffrey Archer
Music: All I Intended To Be by Emmylou Harris

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Why Did The Blonde Learn Geography?

She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn’t like all these jokes.

To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart. In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn’t an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.

A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past - she would set these men straight!

Marching over at a rapid pace she announced, “It isn’t true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is.”

Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked, “Ok, how about Arizona?”

The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,“A”!

Friday, 13 June 2008

Jack Be Nimble Gets Married

Book: A Prisoner of Birth by Jeffrey Archer

Music: Fleet Foxes by Fleet Foxes

Friday, 6 June 2008

Happy National Doughnut Day!!!

Did you know...

National Donut Day is celebrated on the first Friday in June? In 1917, Salvation Army female volunteers known as “lassies” prepared thousands of fresh donuts to the homesick soldiers that served in France during World War I. National Donut Day was officially established in 1938 by the Chicago Salvation Army to raise much-needed funds during the Great Depression.

Donut Glossary from Around the World:
Italy = fritole
Montenegro = ustipci
Mexico = churrro
Turkey = lokma
France = beignet
Germany = krapfen
Hungary = langos
India = balushai
Netherlands = oliebollen

Donut Facts:
In the U.S. alone, more than 10 billion donuts are made every year.
The largest donut ever made was an American-style jelly donut weighing 1.7 tons, which was 16 feet in diameter and 16 inches high in the center.
Per capita, Canada has more donut shops than any other country.
The hole in the donut's center appeared in the first half of the 19th Century.
Adolph Levitt invented the first donut machine in 1920.

Do you know why the golfer took a donut with him to the golf course?
He wanted to have a hole in one!

Book: A Prisoner of Birth by Jeffrey Archer

Music: The Felice Brothers by The Felice Brothers

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Thoughts on Wives . . .(not mine, of course!)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
(Sacha Guitry)
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
(Hemant Joshi)
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? (Sigmund Freud)
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
(Henny Youngman)
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
(Sam Kinison)
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
(James Holt McGavran)
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
(Patrick Murray)
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
(Henny Youngman)
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
(Rodney Dangerfield)
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
(Milton Berle)
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

The international sign for marriage:

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

We Come In Peace

Sunset on Mars... Earth and our moon from Mars...

Great views. Think I'll go to Mars on my next vacation.
Books: Exit Ghost by Philip Roth (not moving very quickly on this one)
Music: Townes Van Zandt by Townes Van Zandt

Sunday, 1 June 2008

Spot the Wanna Be

Book: Exit Ghost by Philip Roth
Music: Hymn For My Soul by Joe Cocker

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