Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. ~ Phyllis Diller
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. ~ Tom Sims
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~ Bill Watterson
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. ~ W. C. Fields
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. ~ Unknown
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~ Johnny Carson
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man…