Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Indiana Jones and The Paraders of the Last Lark

"I've still got it"

What is it with Hollywood's pre-occupation with sequels? It's not enough to produce one movie? You can't come up with a fresh idea for a new movie? You gotta go back to the well two... three... even four times?
In 1981, Harrison Ford starred in a hugely successful movie called Raiders of the Lost Ark. It was so successful George Lucas and Steven Spielberg decided to do a sequel in 1984 and Harrison Ford starred in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It was so successful... ...yeah, you got it - H.F. in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in 1989.
Not content with...
a) a trilogy of movies
b) a trilogy of mega-profits
c) with their last movie having the word "last" in the title, or
d) all of the above
...Messrs Ford, Lucas and Spielberg came out with a fourth in the franchise, last year's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull .
At 65, Ford was practically using a walker for the latest installment. Now comes word, there may be a FIFTH adventure committed to celluloid.
That's right, currently 67, Ford says if the script was right, he'd do it. Let's see, once the script is written, financing is arranged, actors are cast and the blockbuster is filmed Ford'll be lucky if he's still this side of 70.
So, possible titles?
Indiana Jones: Raider of the Lost Spark
Indiana Jones and the Heartbreak of Psoriasis
Indiana Jones and the Dementia of Gloom
Indiana Jones and the Last Bowel Movement
Indiana Jones and Are You Out Of Your Friggin' Skull?
In Da Knee Bones: Arthritis of Doom
Indiana Jones: I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up
Indiana Jones and The Last Time, We Really, Really Promise, Cross Our Hearts and Die

"Ya can't do it without me!"


CatLadyLarew said...

How about Indiana Jones and the Last Hurrah?

Unfinished Rambler said...

The real question is how old will Sean Connery be by that time?

Quirkyloon said...


My personal fave: ... the Dementia of Gloom!

You just get funnier and funnier Noname! *smile*

PhilH said...

Indiana Jones Can't Quite Remember What He Climbed The Stairs For?

nonamedufus said...

CatLady: Yeah, that should have been the name of the 2nd movie.

UR: He's 79 now. I dunno - dead?

Quirks: Well, I try. I eat right, brush after every meal and I take multi-vitamins.

PhilH: Long time, no comment. Yep, good title. Haha

Don said...

Perfect! Then we'd have good reason to get an 80 year Clint Eastwood back in the saddle again or carrying a .44 magnum. The most powerful handgun in the world, and will blow your head clean off. Punk!

nonamedufus said...

Don: Great movie. The full quote was: “You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?” Did you see Gran Torino? Not bad for a 79 year old coot.

Chris said...

Hey, Dufus.

It's me, Chris. I've had to go incognito. My new site is:


Come help me "start over".


MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Indiana Jones and the Hunt for the Lost Keys

Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Viagra

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Low Cholesterol

Geesh, the dude could barely walk in the last film. I can't believe they're going to cast him another one.

Megan said...

I blame John Williams.

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