Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
E.T. knew he was different when he hit puberty and all the girls ever wanted to do was phone home.
HAHA. Look at the crazy guy wearing a purple shirt!
..when Danny Devito shaves his body, the chicks come-a-runnin'.
It's usually in the bars at around 2 a.m. that the desperate ones start trolling.
"So, what's your sign?"
"You wanna go up to my place and share some Reese's Pieces?"
"E.T. was kidnapped and sold as a sex slave on his way home."
Hey, is that girl behind me checking out my butt?
Speed Dating just isn't what it used to be.
Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon?
"Is there something in my teeth?"
What Zorax lacked in good looks, he made up for in self-confidence.
The more Jenny talked to Zorax, the more he seemed out of this world.
For the first time since she started dating, Jenny was glad to be the sister who didn't have functional gaydar.
Lacey didn't usually date aliens, but he had his own place, he had a job and really, really long fingers.
Hey baby, how about you and I blow this party and go somewhere to share some genetic material?
At 10 they're 2's and at 2 they're 10's.
"Look Lady, you're just not my type ok!?! First off, you insist on wearing clothes. Secondly, and more importantly, I'm only here because I'm supposed to see if there are any redeeming qualities to keep us from annihilating this planet."
"Look what happened to me! She said it was "Love Potion Number 9", how am I supposed to get any lovin' lookin' like this!?!"
E-Harmony uses 29 dimensions of compatability, so that anyone regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, or biochemistry can find their ideal mate.
Jägermeister... Helping hairy little German dudes get laid since 1934!
Both of these males will anally probe you, but only one will do it after slipping a roofie in your drink. Can you determine which one?
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