Skip to main content

Hair Today Goon Tomorrow

Prior to my recent stem cell transplant in April I spent four days undergoing radiation treatments.  Knowing I would lose my hair I prepared myself by getting my hair buzzed off.  But not too short.  The barber used a #4 clipper.

But the radiation treatments were delayed.  My hair grew.  And several weeks after the last radiation session I started to lose my hair.  But it looked pretty weird - short here, long there - so back to the barbers to get a buzz with a #1 clipper so that it would all be the same length.

This is a big change for me.  I'm used to longer hair, making a trip to the barber maybe three times a year.  But now I'm basically bald.  I wear a ball cap, not just to keep the sun off my head, but also out of modesty.  If I didn't wear the cap I'd surely feel conspicuous, think people were looking at me or worse, yet, laughing behind my back.

I needn't worry.  My own family laughs right in front of me!  My own wife lovingly refers to me as Mr. Magoo.

Case in point.  Last week was my eldest grandson's 4th birthday.  So we had him and his younger twin brothers over for a little party.  He's crazy for Toy Story.  We'd already just bought him a talking Buzz Lightyear character.  For his birthday we bought him a talking Woody character - you know, the one voiced by Tom Hanks.  The doll has 25 sayings, one each time you pull the string in his back.  I never thought Tom Hanks could be so annoying, but after 3 hours of "a cowboy without a hat is like a yodel without an oh-ti-doo" I think you understand what I was going through.

I once read somewhere that the average 4 year-old asks roughly 400 questions a day.  My grandson is no exception.  Now most of these questions are easy to answer.  But out of the blue he asked, "What happened to your hair, Grampa?"  Now before he'd seen me, my wife told him Grampa looked like Caillou - another of my grandson's favourite characters.  My daughter, his mother, says he watches it every day.  Now before I could answer came the next question, "Can I feel it?"  So we stopped in the middle of supper and I leaned over so he could rub my head for the next 5 minutes.

Later that evening, after everyone had left, my wife and I were laughing about the little one rubbing my head.  I confess she was laughing more than I.  And then she began to laugh uncontrollably, barely able to contain herself.  I said it wasn't really all THAT funny.  She said NO she wasn't laughing at that.  She was struck by how I reminded her - now get this - of a chia pet!  I love you too, dear.


Now if only it were as simple as just adding water.


CatLadyLarew said…
A Dufus Chia pet? I've gotta have one of those! Hilarious!
nonamedufus said…
Boom-Boom: And I can't get "Chi-Chi-Chi-Chia" out of my head (or on it for that matter...ha.ha,ha,ha)
00dozo said…
Heh heh. Maybe you should surprise her and show up with some alfalfa sprouts on your head.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: You just made me think of Alfalfa from Our Gang. He had weird hair...but at least he had hair!
Don said…
A chia pet? Anyway, bald is kinda cool I think. I don't think it's for me, but looking at guys, young and old, it looks nice actually.
Quirkyloon said…
*rub rub rub*

Hey it feels nice Nomie! Really it does.

I think you should start selling Nomie Chias. I bet they would sell like hotcakes. hee hee

And I feel for you daughter. I watched many hours of Caillou. It's a good show for kids, but oh, how I'd rather watch Law & Order! dun dun

OMGawsh word veri: bishess! hee hee
nonamedufus said…
Don: "Who loves ya, baby?"
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Hey, don't rub too hard. I don't want you to rub off what precious little hair I have!
RA said…
Hah! Get a tattoo at the back of your head and see if they dare to continue making fun of your hairless head. Your reputation in the neighborhood may be somewhat damaged, but the laughter stops...
nonamedufus said…
RA: Yeah, I like it. Something like "Killer" or a fist with a raised middle finger. Cool.
Captain Picard made baldness cool again for men everywhere, God bless him.

And I love the reference to the old joke in the title.
nonamedufus said…
Frank: When it comes to baldness, Picard certainly knew how to "make it so".
K A B L O O E Y said…
It's a dramatic change for you, I'm sure, but seriously: there are so many more white guys with shaved heads now, I wouldn't worry about feeling self-conscious. Got a giant one in my house right now. I love the #1 feel, but he likes to shave it all. It's his head. My mom's losing hers because of chemo that is just supposed to "thin" the hair, so she bought the requisite wig, but for a guy? Bald is in, baby. (Stepson suggested tattoo to his dad, however, of a little guy mowing the grass for the edge of his hairline. Problem is, hairline keeps moving down.
K A B L O O E Y said…
Closed parentheses are for sheep. (I owe you this: ) from my last post. And that's not an emoticon.
Leeuna said…
Bald is the new sexy, or didn't you hear, dufus. LOL at the Chia pet.
nonamedufus said…
KABLOOEY: Yeah. I'm too sexy for my hair, too sexy for my hair. Thank goodness it's summer.
nonamedufus said…
Leeuna: New sexy? If anything I'm the old sexy and even at that I have my doubts.
Welcome to my world, Dufus. And we prefer the term "follically challenged."
nonamedufus said…
Chris: I don't mean to burst your bubble, but mine's gonna grow back! mwah, hah, hah, hah
I once had a friend who owned a copy of a porn magazine called "Bald, Black and Beautiful." Maybe there's an old white-guy equivalent and you can use this chemo thing to earn some spending money.
nonamedufus said…
Weenie, White and Wonderful?

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.


Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais


The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

I Do

It was noon. The sun shone brightly in the sky. Birds chirped merrily in the trees. The sounds of traffic drifted up from the street. George picked up his keys and headed for the apartment door. This was a special day. Perhaps the most special day of his life to date. Today was the day he would ask Georgina to marry him. Georgina was his girlfriend. French. From France.

He'd covered all the bases. He'd bought the ring, a bouquet of flowers and a set of knee pads. If she said "no" at least they'd have a good laugh over the knee pads. If she said yes they'd remember him down on his knees this day forever.

He grabbed everything, locked the apartment door and descended the stairs. The restaurant was nearby so he decided to walk. As he waited on the corner for the light to change he thought of spending the rest of his life with Georgina. Not that he was being presumptuous but he had a good sense she felt the same way too. He was sure it was kismet. And besides wi…