Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from November, 2010

Whitey And COTU

Remember this? A couple of months back I told you about my trip to *spits* Toronto to visit my brother, Whitey. This is the CN Tower, once the highest structure in the world until 2007. It's kinda like Toronto made a monument to itself, huh?
Well, a couple of weeks back Mrs. Dufus and I made a trip back to *spits* Toronto to visit Whitey in advance of his birthday, or as he likes to call it COTU*. He should know. He lives there.
You may ask yourself "Why does dufus drive to Toronto so often?" Or, you may not. Nevertheless we visit my brother Whitey so often because we read a recent survey that indicated Toronto is the most miserable city in the country. Heck, we feel bad for the guy and just wanna cheer the poor fella up.
We had a great weekend. I blew a small fortune in HMV on Yonge Street, a 3-storey CD store, and substantially enhanced my music collection.
We also spent some time in COTU's* historic Distillery District. Originally a distillery founded in 1832 by broth…

Sunday Funnies

Pause Ponder and Pissing Down Rain

You know whenever I see something about rain I think of that old joke...
Guy 1: "Hey it's raining cats and dogs out there." Guy 2: "Be careful not to step in a poodle."
Well, maybe not always. And maybe that's just as well.
Ok, enough with the jokes, let's see what we've got.

Futility (n.) - trying to wash the car when you live in Seattle. Jeremy from We Took The Bait


Another manifestation of how Bubba was permanently ear-wormed by Milli Vanilli's "Blame It On The Rain" Quirkyloon


Fearing the effects of acid rain on his new vehicle, Joe tires to stay ahead of the potential damage. ba_hutch


And this week we have the infrequent occurrence of double winners. Yep...
Jimmy takes his OCD to a whole new level. Moooooog
and
Wow, wet was he thinking? Georgina Dollface

Now Moooooog's been a winner too many times to count. He's one funny fella. So it's nice to see he's joined by newcomer Georgina with a pun after my own heart. Congratulations you g…

Which One's The Clown?

Prime Minister Stephen Harper (he's the one on the left) takes time out of his busy schedule this week to meet with Quebec's Bonhomme, the mascot of Quebec City's annual Winter Carnival.
The PM appears willing to do almost anything to improve his electoral chances in Quebec.
The length to which some politicians will go.
Rumour has it next week's photo op will be with Tin Tin, Asterix and Obelix.

Nothing Says Lovin' Like Turducken From The Oven

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends today. At least we Canadians know how to space out the holidays. Our Turkey Day was in October which gives us far much more time for Christmas shopping!
Anyone having turducken this year?
Say what?
You heard me.
Turd what?
No, no. It's turducken.
You take a de-boned chicken and you stuff it into a de-boned duck and then you stuff that into a de-boned turkey. And if that's not enough stuffing you can stuff the cavities left over with, er, stuffing.
Turkey, Duck, Chicken
Turducken
Whew! That's some meal. Whoever thought that one up?
Well according to Wikipedia sometime in the 80s, some guy from Maurice, Louisiana took his three fowl friends to Herbert's Specialty Meats and asked Herb to do the dirty deed. An American tradition was born and Herb's been making turduckens ever since, up to 5,000 a week around Thanksgiving. So if you're a fan of turducken you can add Herb to your list of things to be thankful for.
Turduken got it's…

Pause Ponder and Pun #61

I hope this pic doesn't dampen your enthusiasm this week.
Leave your caption.
Saturday it'll all come out in the wash.

Mama Always Said...

Remember this immortal line from the movie Forrest Gump?

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
A simple philosophy, shared by a simple man. But what you may not know is that the screenwriters of that film went through a number of drafts before the came to what they considered the most appropriate quote. Oh, yes. And I'd like to share with you today some of the gems they discounted.
First there were the other confection-related words of witticism.
Mama always said life was like a box of M&Ms. Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Mama always said life was like Reese's peanut butter cups. Two great tastes that taste great together.
Mama always said life was like Doublemint gum or a three-way. Double your pleasure, double your fun.
But the screenwriting team soon saw they were going in a direction they hadn't intended and decided to think more broadly utilizing a simpler construct.
Mama always said life was like a hammer. You n…

Things That Go Ding Dong In The Night

There's something quite odd going on in our house. A couple of weeks ago Mrs. Dufus and I were parked in front of the television. We'd just settled in for the next instalment of The Amazing Race, at 8pm, when the doorbell rang. My wife got up to see who was at the door, she being closer. When she opened the door no one was there.

Odd. No. One. There. Was someone playing a trick on us? A little past Halloween, you know. Hmm.

Several nights later the wife and I had assumed our positions...in front of the television. We'd just started watching the 10pm news when ding dong. "Who the hell's at the door at this time of night?" I barked and this time I went to the door. There wasn't a soul in sight. Hmm.

The odd thing about this is we have security lights outside on motion detectors. Each time all was dark. Hmm.

The other morning at 5:30am I was awakened by...you got it...the doorbell. Now our doorbell doesn't just go ding dong. Oh, no, we had to set it to the …

Sunday Funnies

Pause Ponder and Human Pin Cushion

It was difficult to pin down a winner this week. Our entries were all so thought-provoking and piercing. Oh, and funny too. Let's get to it...
The year Ronald McDonald got hooked on smack Moooooog


Spike couldn't figure out why he wasn't chosen for the 2011 Pin Up Calendar Boom Boom Larew


Meet Mr. November in this year's Goth Culture Club's Charity Pin-Up Calendar! Partial proceeds go towards helping victims of poor decision-making pay for reconstructive surgery and laser tattoo removal. Georgina Dollface


And our winner, our own Bahama Mama, 00dozo @ When I Reach with...
Dudley Do-Right's estranged cousin, Studly So-Wrong
Way to go 00dozo. You see it pays to be o-pin-ionated! You may have dreaded coming up with a caption but once you locked in on one look what happened. Now you be hangin' with the dufus. W00t, W00t - yahoo!
See everybody back here next week for another round of Pause Ponder and Pun. Hey, and don't forget to click on the links of these guys for a g…

Things I Do When I'm Not Blogging

So it's been a week now since I cut back on the blogging. Doing 14 posts a week across four blogs was getting to be a bit much. I was virtually eating and sleeping blogging.
My life has changed already. Yep. Here's some of the things I've been doing instead of blogging.
1. listening to more music
2. reading more books
3. visiting my brother, Whitey, in *spits* Toronto, or as Whitey likes to call it COTU (Centre Of The Universe)
4. shaving regularly
5. showering
6. dressing
7. eating
8. watching football without a computer in my lap
9. reading SPAM mail (boy, am I rich!)
10. sleeping

Not a bad start.

Is That A Bomb In Your Junk Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

You know there was a time when a guy would use a public toilet and didn't need to worry about having something to read. Nope. That's because the crapper stall wall was full of graffiti - enough to last the duration of your stay. I don't know why but my favourite was always something along the lines of "For a good time, call Bob's Mom at...". Ha, ha, I knew all my buddies' moms I didn't see any of them as providing me with a "good time".

But times change. There's less graffiti on the bathroom wall these days but there's more outside the bathroom for a guy to worry about. Take for instance the latest dust up around the approach being taken by TSA agents (Transportation Security Administration) in the States. Or maybe I should say the latest feel up.
I guess the terrorists have won. TSA agents are stepping up their efforts to protect the flying public. They now use x-ray machines that show so much you might as well strip down to pass thr…

Pause Ponder and Pun #60

Okay guys. I need your o-pin-ion on this.
Stud-y the photo carefully.

Leave your sting-ing observations in the comments as per usual and we'll face up to things Saturday.

Say What? #5

From time to time I like to share with you guys definitions I've come up with for some of the more interesting verification words I've come across while signing on to your blogs. Here's my latest instalment...

The heroine in Stieg Larsson's Millenium series


What one hunter says to the other as they approach an unsuspecting pulark



Not entirely disingenuous




Not your log



Acronym for Don't Eat Some Silly Idiot's Stew



Where the rich people are asked to go in the theatre



There's couch surfing. This is when all you can afford is a cushion.




All that's left after your friends ate the rest of your tostitos