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The Worst Christmas Present Ever

My pals over at Tribal Blogs are holding their first Blog Carnival today and the subject is the worst Christmas present ever.

Remember Ralphie in the movie A Christmas Story? His, as my readers point out, Aunt Clara sent him a bunny costume. Yeah, it sure sucked to be him.

Hey sometimes Christmas doesn't work out for some of us. Look at my grandsons last Christmas. Things went from this... this...

Heh, heh. That's one picture my daughter doesn't want to share too widely. So keep quiet about it, okay?

When I was a kid, Christmas was such a special time. The snow outside, the tree, the lights, the food, visiting relatives and neighbours. And of course the presents.

My own kids loved Christmas too and would pore through the Sears Wish Book Catalogue as soon as it arrived in the mail, dog-earing pages upon pages of pictures of gifts they wanted for Christmas.

And they were pretty lucky. They usually got most of what they asked for. Today the grandkids are luckier than ever, although the twins last year had more fun with the boxes their presents came in than with the presents themselves.

Myself? Not so lucky. You know there should be a ban on certain items that parents get their kids for Christmas. Yeah, you know. The stores should stop selling certain things during the month of December.

When I was a kid I'd ask for a tricycle, or a wagon, or a Meccano set, or some such thing I'd have my heart set on.

I'd be up ahead of everyone else Christmas morning to see what Santa had left under the tree. I'd check out the name tags to see what presents were for me and I'd even shake a package or two to see if I could guess what was inside.

Slowly but surely the rest of the family would start to stir, and gather around the tree. I'd be so anxious I'd almost wet myself. C'mon guys, let's get going.

And then I'd be given the honour of opening the first gift. I'd tear the pretty bows and ribbon to shreds and rip off the wrapping paper to expose a medium sized box.

What the heck could it be? I hesitated. Was it the toy truck I'd asked for? Maybe it was a Davey Crocket hat - cool. I slowly lifted the lid of the box and peeked inside to see...sox and underwear!

"Um, ah, gee, guys, er, thanks a lot. It's, ah, just what I wanted."

And I must have sounded pretty sincere, because I got that same gift almost every year until I left home at the age of 20.

But I never ran out of sox...or underwear.

Just what he wanted?

Wanna read more posts about weird and wonderful Christmas experiences? Just click on the button below to see who all is participating...

TribalBlogs Carnival

Or click on this link The Worst Christmas Present Ever by Babs at Beetle Blog for a gift from one of my fellow Tribal Bloggers. Tell her dufus sent ya.


Simple Dude said…
I was pretty lucky with my presents growing up. I think it helped that my brother was quite a bit older than I so I didn't have to compete with him for toy presents!

Ohh, and Ralphie actually got the bunny suit from his Aunt Clara. His parents got him the Red Rider air rifle.

nonamedufus said…
Simple Dude: I was 7 years ahead of my middle brother so I couldn't even re-gift.

Aunt Clara? I stand corrected. But that's gotta be my favourite Christmas movie.
Jaffer said…
Clothing and jewellery that you'd never show off to others like sox, undies, lingerie, hankies, anklets, toe-rings should never be boxed and gift-wrapped.

I mostly got money for Eid - it was natural - just call it protection (for love and respect) money.
nonamedufus said…
Jaffer: I'll take money anytime. I hope you invested wisely.
Laraine said…
Socks and underwear were highly prized in my family of 11 kids. It meant you could quit wearing your brothers for a week or too.
nonamedufus said…
Laraine: Thanks for stopping by. So I guess you were pretty easy to buy for then, eh?
Nicky said…
Your grandkids are adorable!

Years ago, I told my kids that children on Santa's naughty list got socks and underwear for Xmas. I bugged them about it so much, my mom went and bought ME socks and underwear to prove the point. It's now a family tradition.

It isn't Christmas without the Wish Book!
nonamedufus said…
Nicky: Adorable grandkids? Check. Haha, that's a funny story. So for your family, I guess, Christmas sox! (a little play on words, there.)
Jen said…
I give my kids socks and underwear each year for Christmas. I thought that was a rule. My son makes fun of me but as they get older they get fewer and fewer presents under the tree so socks and underwear make it look like they are getting more.
nonamedufus said…
Jen: Yeah, and they're so much cheaper than a smart phone! Do you wrap each sock individually?
1389 said…
LOL...I was always the kid who REFUSED to wear socks OR shoes. I got stung by bees on my feet a few times, but I just did not like the feeling of wearing anything on my feet!
Quirkyloon said…
I LOVE A Christmas Story. Ralphie is so cute. are those adorable grandbabies, whining and all! *grin*

Yeah, it was Aunt Clara who bestowed the bunny outfit.

Hmm. I've been wondering to give my 13 yr old boy. Hmm.

*wicked grin*
00dozo said…
Socks and underwear weren't really such a bad gift, providing that isn't all you got at Christmas.

When I was a kid, I was always losing the match to a pair of socks to our cat who loved to drag them around and hide them. Then, of course, I'd lose another to the black hole in the dryer. Getting socks for Christmas just replenishes your stock for the upcoming year.
nonamedufus said…
1389: Boy, your feet must have been cold trudging through the winter snow.
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Yeah, I'm thinking of getting the twins bunny suits and my older grandson socks!
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Yeah, what is it about the black hole of the dryer, anyway? Where the hell do they go? Other than the back of the sweater you're wearing?
Rachele said…
My MIL still buys her son(Hubster) socks and underwear every Christmas and he's 42. I get a dozen pairs of socks but I'm pretty sure she assumes I don't wear underwear:)
nonamedufus said…
Rachele: Hubster's mom is very thoughtful...and knowledgeable it would seem. Well at least you guys don't have to worry about buying socks and underwear during the rest of the year.
cardiogirl said…
I'm actually surprised to say I never received socks or underwear for Christmas as a kid.

But I *totally* remember going through the Sears catalog marking what I wanted. I don't remember if I did get anything out of that catalog but I had fun looking through it for hours on end.
Babs-beetle said…
Shame for men. They always get socks or ties ;)
nonamedufus said…
cardiogirl: That Sears Wish Book was the stuff dreams are made of. Of course so was the Maltese Falcon but my kids were too young to know that.
nonamedufus said…
Babs-beetle: And, like you're jealous? I've been saving mine up. I'll send them to you.
Personally I would love to get socks and underwear for Christmas. I'm running out of...well...clean socks and those without holes. :)
Linda Medrano said…
When we start buying our own socks and underwear, I think we begin to appreciate them as gifts more! Alex gets a whole new supply of both every Christmas and he is thrilled to get them!
nonamedufus said…
UR: If you're running out clean socks there's this really neat gadget you should know about. It's called a washing machine!
nonamedufus said…
Linda: Ok, now is Alex buying,getting excited over and wearing men's or ladies' underwear? Um, just so I know what to get him.
Ziva said…
Man, I wish I could get some socks and underwear for Christmas. I just keep getting bunny costumes.
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: Please send pictures! Didn't know there was a Playboy mansion in Finland. Amazing what you learn on the internet.
Tarheel Rambler said…
Oh man, I forgot about all of those clothing gifts I got for Christmas in years past. When I got be be a teenager it wasn't so bad. Maybe because I knew what to expect. But when I was just a kid, it sucked big time.
sheila said…
The old socks and undie gifts, throw in jammies too and you'd have the bulk of the pile of gifts under our tree. I can't imagine giving my kids socks and underwear as a gift, maybe it was a 60s/70s thing. Or maybe everyone was broke and wrapped up everything they could think of so when the kids came out in the morning and saw the huge heap of gifts they would think they had the most awesome parents ever.
nonamedufus said…
Tarheel: As a kid, I think clothes of any kind are just a no-no as a gift. What fun is a shirt or pair of pants, let alone socks and underwear?
nonamedufus said…
Sheila: A fellow TBer. I just visited your blog quickly and it rocks. I've gotta add you to my regular visits.

In my case it was a 50s thing. (Yeah, I know I look much younger.) You may be right on the affordability thing. Heck, we didn't even have a car. Um, and I had to walk 30 miles to school barefoot in the those socks sure came in handy!
Lola said…
I remember always pouring over the JC Penney and Sears wishbooks. But as a kid, I was just wishing because we were always reminded not to expect a lot. Sad to say the wishing including fantasizing that I had gotten whatever toy it was I wanted and I fantasized about how I'd play with it. I killed many an hour that way. I can’t say that I grew up poor, because I didn’t. I grew up frugal. We never went without, but we didn’t have any of the extras or fancy stuff that my friends had. When I was 7 I wanted a Barbie doll because all my friends had Barbie, Ken, Skipper, etc.

The year I asked for Barbie my father had back surgery and money was tight. I didn’t get a Barbie, or any of her “Mattel” friends. My sister and I got “Mini-Mod” dolls.
1960's Mini Mod 11.5" Fashion Doll
“Mini-Mod” dolls were cheap, vinyl Barbie knock-offs that had arms and legs that weren’t articulated like Barbie’s and if you pressed them too hard, they dented.
vickilikesfrogs said…
The best gift I ever got was back in, like, 1981 and I got an Atari with a Frogger game! The worst gift I ever got was...socks and underwear.
nonamedufus said…
Lola: Dolls that dent, that's sad. Funny, eh, how our expectations, when we were kids, always seemed to exceed our parents' wallets.
nonamedufus said…
Vicki: I remember playing Pong. That was leading edge for a video game. Frogger was an apt game for you!
Sparkle said…
Oh, if you think THAT's bad, imagine being a cat who gets a Santa hat for Christmas! We don't even WANT to wear those!
nonamedufus said…
Sparkle: You don't like being Santa Claws?
Boom Boom Larew said…
I remember getting underwear for Christmas... what a let down!
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: What kind of Santa would bring a kid underwear? Bah-humbug.
Hey, WTF? I read this days ago and left a comment then but it's not here.

Reminds me of Christmas growing up.

Socks and such should never be given to children, although girls seem to appreciate them more than boys. I myself liked toys, and still do.
nonamedufus said…
Mike: Well I don't know. I wouldn't have deleted it. Maybe in your fragile and depressed state of mind you thought you did. I understand. There, there. I bought you some underwear for Christmas. That should make you feel better.Oh, right. You don't wear any.
I always got Christmas socks. Not quite as cheesy as Christmas sweaters, but not quite as hip either. When was the last time you got invited to an "Ugly Christmas Socks Party"? Yeah, never. - G
nonamedufus said…
G: The dreaded Christmas sweater. I'd completely forgotten about that. Though I don't think I ever got one. My mom knitted me a blue heavy sweater with white reindeer on it. That was more like a jacket, though. I thought it was cool
Canadian Blend said…
This year I'm hoping to get two headlight assemblies for a minivan. I'm going to have to buy one anyway (and they're about $125 each) so I may as well kill two birds with one stone.
nonamedufus said…
Cdn. Blend: What you should do is buy them for your wife! Tell her you got her something the whole family can use!

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