Thursday, 10 February 2011

Tush Touché

When I first read the story I'm about to relate to you I thought of that old line "I need a new butt, mine's got a crack in it." Okay, so I laughed when when I was thirteen. Not so much now. But I had to laugh at the following story, even though, speaking of butts, it came to a sad end.

Police in Philadelphia are investigating the circumstances of a British woman's death. She apparently died of complications from butt enhancement surgery. Now get this. The surgery didn't take place in a doctor's office or even in a hospital. It took place in a hotel room. Yeah. The Hampton Inn near the Philadelphia International Airport. I don't know about you but I'm bummed out.

What did this woman think she was getting in for? A butt enhancement job in a hotel? Yeah, right. And why? Did she want a new keister for Easter? Did she want to impress her husband dear with a new rear? Was she hoping to push for a tush like J. Lo?

What an asset!

How the heck did all this come to p-ass? (heh, heh) Did the hotel accidently place an ambiguous ad in the London Times aimed at getting the homeless off the streets of Philadelphia?

"Stay With Us. No Bums Turned Away"

Maybe it was the doctor who placed small discreet messages in the Guardian want-ads:

"Do your mates say you have a boney butt? Well now you can turn the other cheek!"

Geez, what if it was the city itself that enticed Brits abroad:

"Visit the City of Brotherly Love and Leave Your Worries Behind"

or

"Philadelphia: The City That Loves You(r) Back(side)!"

The procedure, not recognized by the FDA, involves silicon injections. Yeah, probably at "inflated" prices, too. And how "wide-spread" is this surgery? I'll bet there's no "end" to the number of illicit butt enhancers out there.

Well, it's hard to see a positive aspect to this sad tale (tail?). But I guess we could say that for this poor unidentified female that the worst is behind her.

17 comments:

00dozo said...

Ha! Philadelphia: The City of Butt-erly Love.

I could sure use a new ass - any ass at all would be nice - but I don't think I'd go to Philly for it.

;-)

nonamedufus said...

00dozo: Oh, good one. And, yeah, I wouldn't go to Philly for a new ass either. I mean look what they did to the Liberty Bell.

Quirkyloon said...

Hee hee.

This is so funny! I'm a laughing my BUTT off right now.

Even as I sit.

hee hee

Donnie said...

Perfect platform for your puns and buns. Actually, the pictured butt is too much rear for me. I could share with a friend and still have enough to wipe.

cube said...

This unfortunate woman will be the butt of jokes for a long time to come.

nonamedufus said...

Quirks: Had you cracking up, did I?

nonamedufus said...

Donnie: That pic is J. Lo, There's a race on among her, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian to see who could be, um, er, have the biggest ass.

nonamedufus said...

Cube: Hahaha, yes indeed. You're new in these parts. Glad you dropped in and left a comment.

Linda Medrano said...

I wouldn't even go to Philly for a cheese steak, much less big butt from a Philly motel.

Leeuna said...

Hahahaha. This news story is right up your alley, Dufe. It is a pundit's dream. I loved the "a new keister for Easter" line. Hilarious!

Kelly said...

I wonder if her name was Dawn because she wasn't safe.

Get it? Oh, I crack myself up!

nonamedufus said...

Linda: I'm sure it's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to bum around there.

nonamedufus said...

Leeuna: I liked that one too. A thesaurus is a wonderful thing.

nonamedufus said...

Kelly. It dawns on me that you might have to explain that one a bit. Maybe I'm a "little behind" when it comes to contemporary cultural references.

Jen said...

As much as I would like a new ass I feel bad for this woman who thought if she went to those kinds of extremes it would make her life better. It's really sad what women will do to their bodies just to look like something that has been airbrushed.

nonamedufus said...

Jen: I don't get it either. But then I don't get the attraction of an oversized butt either. Call me old fashioned.

Quirkyloon said...

Hee hee.

This is so funny! I'm a laughing my BUTT off right now.

Even as I sit.

hee hee

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