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Women Are From Venus, Men Are From The Couch

It's a conspiracy, dammit. I swear. What do people have against men? Well, I'm not going to take this lying down. Although the results of a recent survey might indicate otherwise.

In Britain last week they released the results of yet another survey comparing men and women. The upshot would seem to be men are a bunch of layabouts. This research could be devastating it it falls into the wrong women!

Did you know, for instance, the average man spends one month searching for socks? Well, yeah, but that's because women keep losing them in the dryer when she does the guy's laundry.

Oh, and the average British guy spends 11 years of his lifetime in front of the TV. I don't know what they've got on television over there but it must be a whole lot better than Billy The Exterminator and Two And-A-Half Men. Must be all those soccer matches that the Brits mistakenly call football.

Guys will learn how to cook about 4 different meals throughout their lifetime, (fast learners, eh?) spend about 10,500 hours in the pub - I think these two things might be connected - and will say "I'm sorry" close to 2 million times in their lifetime. Shit, you'd think these guys were Canadian.

The survey also says the average British woman spends 8.5 years of her life shopping. No surprise there.

But here's a fact about British women I'm somewhat reluctant to pass on. The average woman apparently has four times as many brain cells as men connecting the left and right side of their brains. This makes them better at problem solving and multi-tasking.

If that's the case, then why haven't they found those socks they've lost?


Nicky said…
It took a study to tell them that men like to drink, watch tv and can't cook, while women like to shop?!

By the way, we know where the socks are. We're just messin' with you. :-)
laughingmom said…
Dang! I never knew my hubby was British! That explains a lot!
nonamedufus said…
Nicky: I knew it about the socks!
nonamedufus said…
laughingmom: Apparently there are more Brit men around over here than were first suspected! Many more.
Quirkyloon said…
Hee hee. Well there's no doubt that I am NOT British. Multi-tasking?

blub, blub, blub, blub, blub!
vickilikesfrogs said…
Wait...lemme make sure I've got this watch a lot of tv, spend a lot of time in bars, AND have fewer brain cells than women? No wonder it's so hard for you to find your socks!

Just kidding, Dufe. We actually steal your socks when our dainty footsies get cold at night.
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: So you're saying you're wired differently? I get a charge out of that one.
nonamedufus said…
vicki: I knew it!
00dozo said…
I think it a bit suspicious that the study didn't include the inordinate amount of time a man spends in the crapper.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Sorry I couldn't get to your comment sooner. I was otherwise occupied. But I feel that a weight's been lifted, so it was time well spent.
meleah rebeccah said…
Nicky's comment is cracking me up.

However, I'm a little freaked out here. Because technically I am a woman. I have all the lady parts to prove it. But... I love to drink, watch tv, lay on the couch, and I can't cook. Plus, I HATE to shop?!

Maybe I was man in a former life?
nonamedufus said…
meleah rebeccah: Wow, you're my kinda guy, uh, girl.
Jamie said…
If women are so smart, why did it take a man to invent this. Lazy, my foot.
Dufus, if my wife sees this post, I'm fucked.

nonamedufus said…
Jamie: I'm not sure coming up wit something like that would have been foremost in a woman's mind. Now a guy...he's all about labour-saving devices.
nonamedufus said…
MikeWJ: What? You don't wanna get your sox back?
Donnie said…
Since I don't have a particular woman in my life I don't worry about those little things. I can only compare myself to other guys and based on my buddies, I'm a cut above. Not really, but sounds good.
nonamedufus said…
Donnie: Does that mean you spend even more time in front of the TV?!
Rachele said…
That study made me tired. I'm going to go lay on the couch, watch some TV and drink some wine, right after I throw out all the socks. That's what I call multi-tasking.
nonamedufus said…
Rachele: Again with the sox? You women are merciless. Sheesh.
Boom Boom Larew said…
I beg to differ... I'm much more of a layabout than the British lads I know. (Hear that Indigo and 'Difficult?)
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: But the sox, what have you done with the sox?

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