Skip to main content

Royal Blunders



Is it safe to come out yet? Have those rug-rat Royals departed for the motherland? Has Kate and her fascinators and her fascinating hubby taken their leave? Yes I think the royal reprobates have retreated.

The royal youngsters.

I don't know why but Canadians from coast to coast to coast had the worst incontinence problem known to this nation. Young and old everywhere wet their pants, drooled and cried over the dynamic duo known affectionately as Will and Kate.

On Saturday Kate left Canada behind.

But I suppose we should count ourselves lucky we had the youngsters tour our nation rather than their grandfather. Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, after all, would only have insulted us. Oh, yeah. Don't believe me? Let me give you a few examples. The recently turned 90 year-old has stuck his foot in his mouth more times than a pair of mating centipedes.

The royal geezers.

Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper rain a piece last week commemorating Prince Philip's 90th birthday with a list of 90 gaffes the geezer had committed over the years. Here are a few.

He once singled out a 14 year-old boy at a Bangladeshi youth club with the remarks "So who's on drugs here? He looks like he's on drugs."

To a successful Aboriginal businessman in Queensland, Australia the Dizzy Duke asked the man "Do you still throw spears at each other?"

In 2000, after Italian Prime Minister Giuliano Amato offered him a selection of fine wines at a state dinner, Philip replied "Get me a beer. I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!"

He once asked a Scottish driving instructor "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"

On a visit to China he said to a British exchange student "If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes."

Many years ago, in 1976, he told Canadian journalists "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves."

And as far back as 1956 he told the then President of Nigeria, who was resplendent in his traditional robes "You look like you're ready for bed!"

Small wonder there used to be a rumour making the rounds that when Philip made love to his wife Queen Elizabeth she'd close her eyes and think of England.

The royal family belongs to a unique, and obviously limited, gene pool. Look at Prince Charles. Hello?

And didn't royals marry their cousins or some such thing? So much for inbreeding.

Comments

SP said…
Cellulite.....
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, butt not much. (heh, heh)
quirkyloon said…
I have an extra pair of "Monday" panties (I also have the the rest of the week too). Now I know just who to send it too! Kate: the Pantieless Duchess.

Is this really the norm now? I know when the wild gals party, they go commando, but now it's just a 24/7 thingy?

Gah. I'm glad I'm old.

Plus, I leak.

HA!!!!!!!!
nonamedufus said…
We'll have to start calling her the Duchess of Thong.
00dozo said…
It appears that an Alberta clipper arrived earlier than usual this year.

;-)
nonamedufus said…
Those chinooks can sneak up on you when you least expect it. But you know you have to hand it to Kate. In the face of adversity she just turned the other cheek.
00dozo said…
And everyone got a good gander when she got a Canadian 'goose'.

;-)
nonamedufus said…
Hey, no more wise cracks.
Sandra said…
Phillip clearly falls under the category of douchebag (I've always wanted to use that word in a comment! Hurray!)
As for the royals, I'm Canadian, and honestly, I had no idea they were even here. I finally figured it out when my husband insisted on eating his meals in front of the tv to watch the live coverage...sigh...
nonamedufus said…
You're the first person to comment on the substance of the post- Prince Foot-In-Mouth, not Kate. I was suitably underwhelmed by it all but others, your husband included, simply went ga-ga over this. I just don't get it.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

I Do

It was noon. The sun shone brightly in the sky. Birds chirped merrily in the trees. The sounds of traffic drifted up from the street. George picked up his keys and headed for the apartment door. This was a special day. Perhaps the most special day of his life to date. Today was the day he would ask Georgina to marry him. Georgina was his girlfriend. French. From France.

He'd covered all the bases. He'd bought the ring, a bouquet of flowers and a set of knee pads. If she said "no" at least they'd have a good laugh over the knee pads. If she said yes they'd remember him down on his knees this day forever.

He grabbed everything, locked the apartment door and descended the stairs. The restaurant was nearby so he decided to walk. As he waited on the corner for the light to change he thought of spending the rest of his life with Georgina. Not that he was being presumptuous but he had a good sense she felt the same way too. He was sure it was kismet. And besides wi…