I've never really been what you'd call a hunk. Oh, maybe back in my high school and college days where I played sports in the former and was a poor starving student in the latter. Other than that I've always had a bit of a problem with my weight. My BMI (Body Mass Index) indicates I'm somewhat overweight but when I look around me and see many heavy-set people these days I like to think of myself as nowhere near what they look like. "Husky" I recall applying to myself as a kid. By today's standards I'd like to think of myself as pretty average.
Not me - for demonstration purposes only.
Now before you tell me denial's more than a river in Egypt, I'm not trying to deny my weight problem. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds. But, hey, it's not really my fault.
Sure, yeah, yeah, my life is somewhat sedentary. Unless, I'm participating in my latest passion - golf - or have been dragged, kicking and screaming, out shopping with Mrs. Dufus I can usually be found not far from the couch either reading, on the computer or watching the idiot box.
My food choices aren't the best and I've been known to down the odd Corona or two. But nothing to excess, mind you. Well, not often.
But getting back to my new excuse, erm, newly discovered problem, the next time Mrs. D asks me if I'm packing a few more pounds I can say, "Um, yeah, sorry, I washed my hair three times yesterday."
Now before you go thinking I'm a bit of a dandy when it comes to my appearance - and I'm not, just ask poor Mrs. D who has to beg me to shave at least once a week - a new study by doctors at New York's Mount Sinai Medical Center says the "chemical calories" lurking in everyday beauty products such as shampoo, body lotions and soap could be to blame for weight gain.
Again not me, but the picture gives me a neat idea.
The doctors suggest that daily exposure to phthalates may be linked to childhood obesity and weight problems in adults. And son of a gun if I don't bathe every day - and shave once a week. And now because of my dedication to good hygiene I'm packing on the pounds. I tell ya, life ain't fair.
I may have to give up soap, shampoo and shaving for the sake of a slimmer self-image.
Pass the cheeseburgers, honey and I'll have another beer while you're up.