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Showing posts from August, 2011

Pause Ponder and Pun #95

Boy, talk about a bad hair day!

What's up with this guy?
I've heard of rock or heavy metal hair bands but this guy's sporting a band of hair.
Leave your thoughts in the comments.
We'll trim the submissions and announce the winner Saturday.

Welcome to Fantasy Why? Land

"Zee pick, Boss, zee pick"
Uh-oh. What have I done now? Well I'll tell you what I've done. I've gone and accepted an invitation to participate in a fantasy football league. And not just any league. It's the prestigious Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League. Seems they're an owner or two short this year and one of the existing owners Unfinished Person asked me if I'd be interested in playing. Well, first of all I'm gratified that they think I'm a humour blogger (and a Canadian, hence the "u" - "hence the u", that's a funny expression, isn't it? Must be Canadian.). My fantasy football skills remain to be seen.
Now if that wasn't enough, a member of that fantasy league runs another one called "FTWL" and he asked me to join that one too. Hey, what the heck. If I'm gonna go down I may as well go down in spectacular fashion.
What do I know about fantasy leagues? My brother (HI WHITEY!) from *spits* Toronto…

Sunday Funnies

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program with this breaking news bulletin.
Hey, look at this. Skeeter over at Dead Dog has started up a caption contest and guess who won last week. Yeah, that's right, moi. The dufus has still got it. So here's the pic and my beguiling caption:

Red, did you park your truck in that tree? Son of a birch!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.












_ause _onder and _un

I gotta pee, Pat.
Welcome to another results edition of Pause Ponder and Pun - wildly more popular than that age-old TV game show "Wheel of Fortune". About the only thing we have in common with that show's sexy hostess is the fact that all of you Vanna win.
This week's photo was kind of uplifting don't you think. You all rose to the occasion with some pretty great captions. Let's see who floated their way to the top, shall we?

"Honey! The ceiling still still tastes white." Vaguemax


Forgetting the hardhat, Suzy ignored Krazy Glue's "Don't try this at home" disclaimer Nicky


Mary did her part to try to raise the debt ceiling. Shawn


She's trying to explain what a dangling participle is. Blog Rehab


And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Well, whether or not you've been waiting it's nevertheless time to unveil our winner...


Maybe we should rethink the helium enema idea. Jamie
W00T, Jamie! (I think that's what the kids sa…

PETA Does Porn

In one of the more bizarre news stories of the week PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) announced it intends to launch a porn site later this year. A spokeswoman for the group says "the site will feature adult content along with graphic images of animals that viewers may not expect to see".
Gee they've come a long way since Pamela Anderson:

Nice to see the organization that draws attention to it's vegan ideology through half-naked women is taking the next logical step. A web site devoted to beastiality. What? It's not about beastiality? Oh, okay, you had me going for a moment there.
Apparently the only thing graphic about it's pictures will be "how animals suffer for entertainment". Are you sure this isn't about beastiality?
PETA says its "sexy side...will quickly give way to the sinister world of animal mistreatment uncovered by the group's hidden camera investigators. Yeah, I can really see how the two go together so well.
N…

Pause Ponder and Pun #94

I guess this woman has nothing better to do than to just hang around the house.
I hope you'll hang around long enough to leave a caption.
I hope you rise to the challenge.
See ya Saturday.

Goody Goody Gumdrops

Last week I was at the grocery store, fulfilling one of my weekly husbandly duties that keep me in Mrs. Dufus' good books. You know, things like building decks, painting living rooms, cleaning the windows, re-roofing the house - not that I do any of those things, but they are good examples.
Any way, somewhere between cat litter and food waste garbage bags I came across a little confection that I used to love eating as a kid. Confection for those of you who can't keep up is a fancy word for candy.
I got home, unpacked and put away the groceries and then pulled out my guilty pleasure: a 950 gram tub of jujubes. As I merrily plopped one after another in orgasmic pleasure into my salivating pie-hole - I didn't have to worry about how many I ate because they were fat free -- yippee! - I started to think (uh-oh) about what I was eating and where they came from.
According to Wikipedia:
Jujube (pronounced /ˈdʒuːdʒuːb/ or /ˈdʒuːdʒuːbiː/), or jube, is the name of several types of candy

Sunday Funnies

Pause Ponder and Pyrotechnics in the Bedroom

Hello and welcome to that internationally acclaimed (or at least on billboards in New Jersey) interwebs caption contest Pause Ponder and Pun! That's right. I supply the picture and you supply the puns. And we had plenty of punny players this week, all with their own view of just what the heck might be going on in our picture.
I have to say I am constantly amazed at how you guys' minds work. I long ago learned not to drink anything while I'm reviewing your submissions for fear of blowing said liquid out my nose. This week we hit the mother-load of great captions so I've extended our honourable mentions a bit. Without further ado, let's get to it.


I see that look in your eye, but it's time for tai che Madge


Ohhhhh nooooo! We are not role playing Baez and Anthony again. Nuh-uh, no way Jose. Quirkyloon


Hold it right there! I agreed to do the players, but I am certainly not doing the water boy! Raymond


There was a time when Bob thought Mary's obsession with Diana Ross w…

Anatomy Of A Blog Post

On my writing days I am consumed by what the heck I will write about. I search the web for inspiration, try to recall something funny Mrs Dufus might have said lately, wrack my brain about what I may have read about recently in the news and think about whether or not I have an opinion, can embellish or twist it to make it humorous. Here's how my day went yesterday.
7:30am - wake up
7:31 - pee

7:35am - open laptop
7:36am - turn on TV to news channel
7:38am - check yesterday's blog comments, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+
8:05am - steal photo from Phil's Phun for Picture This blog
8:30am - pee
8:31am - cook breakfast: 2 over easy eggs with melted cheese on open-faced bagel, orange juice
8:41am - wash dishes
8:45am - pooh - oh look, there' a sale at IKEA. Oh, that's last year's catalogue
9:00am - change TV to Golf Channel
10:00am - get dressed, cut lawn
11:45am - put creepy in pool
12:00pm - shower, brush teeth, comb hair (shaved yesterday)
12:15pm - make bed
12:20pm - c…

Pause Ponder and Pun #93

No comment.
I'll leave that to you.
We'll resolve this Saturday.

That's Cheeky

What could it be about this sport that makes me love it so much? I love watching NFL football but it doesn't come close to this. I enjoy watching golf but again it can't compare. Hockey? Sure. Baseball, yeah. Curling? Come on. I may be Canadian but you think I've got rocks in my head? I like sports but that's just downright boring.
No this sport has a certain attraction for me. Maybe because it's about the sheer beauty and majesty. It has syncronization. It's a delicate ballet. It's easy on the eyes. And it's not really necessary to keep track of the score.
Oh and did I mention yet that the participants wear teeny tiny bathing suits. No I'm not talking about The Miss America Pagaent. I'm talking about women's beach volleyball.
You know a sport has really hit its stride when it worries about how to accommodate commercial sponsors and how to display their brand names. NASCAR cars and driver uniforms, for example, are plastered with ads. But let&…

Sunday Funnies