Did you just toot?
Who would have ever predicted the popularity of first the book series and now the movie series based on the deep, dark, mysterious world of rippers. Yes, rippers. I'm speaking, of course, about Fartfright.
Of course the whole genre began with Bram Stoker's skunk-bait masterpiece Diarrhea written back in 1897. Francis Fart Coppola directed a four star film version of the classic in 1992.
Keefer Sutherland and the two Coreys starred in the ripper cult classic in 1987 called The Lost Farts.
And of course who could forget Tom Poohs and Brad Shit in 1994s Interview With the Crop Duster.
But let's return to the current popularity of ripper films. Four films in four years, each more popular than the last. The festival of flatulence began with the movie Fartfright in 2008. A tale of star-struck lovers condemned to immortality because they fart in each other's general direction.
Then came the sequel, The Fartfright Saga: Chuck a Moon in 2009.
That's right. And along with this endorsement I worked out a sweet deal of a year's supply of Dos Equis. Thanks Most Interesting Man In The World!
Now I was going to write a funny intro full of puns about monkeys but I dipped into the year's supply Dos Equis sent me and the best I could come up with was what you might call pieces of rhesus. So enough monkey business. Let's swing over the matter at hand. Here's a sampling of this week's captions for the pic that Malisa sent us.
Well, well, well. My American friends are putting on their expandable waistline pants, sittin' back and watching 3 football games in anticipation of a feast of corn, bread and eel. Well if you were one of the first celebrants back in 1621 you would be. And you'd be giving thanks the Indians hadn't killed you. Times have changed. With Gadaffi gone I don't think anyone's threatening to kill you these days. And eel is just so, well, yesterday. I wrote this last year. If you want to know what Americans are eating this Yanksgiving, read on.
Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends today. At least we Canadians know how to space out the holidays. Our Turkey Day was in October which gives us far much more time for Christmas shopping!
Anyone having turducken this year?
You heard me.
No, no. It's turducken.
You take a de-boned chicken and you stuff it into a de-boned duck and then you stuff that into a de-boned turkey. And if that's not enough…
I'm stunned Monday (unh-uh...unh-uh, unh-uh)
Not good to me (unh-uh...unh-uh, unh-uh)
Monday mornin' wasn't all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin', Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee (unh-uh...unh-uh, unh-uh)
That Monday evening I'd have a post for you all to see
I'm stunned Monday, can't trust that day
Stun day, Monday sometimes you just have nothing to say
Oh Monday morning' you gave me no warning" of what was to be
Oh Monday, Monday how come there's nothin' to inspire me
Every other day, every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me trying' to write something fine
I'm stunned on Monday
Not good to me
Monday morning all thought has left me
Oh Monday morning' Monday morning I just wanna break free
And write some witty thing where you leave a comment with me
Welcome to another week of our Mickey Mouse little caption contest, where once a week those who participate enter the magical kingdom of captioning. And it's where I get the chance to wade through all your goofy submissions. So let's see what we've got going this week.
I don't know if this is Main Street U.S.A. but this guy sure took a wrong turn on Autopia.
Let's see what you guys came up with for this...
A metaphor for Rick Perry's campaign Jayne
to which 00dozo responded: I assume the train is reserved for Cain?
Way to go Shawn. You be hang in' with dufus. We'll see you in Anaheim. And we'll see everybody else next Wednesday when we run a pic submitted by Malisa from Pent-up Photos. She has some great pics on her blog. You should check it out!
What's your favourite part of a meal at a restaurant? I'd have to say mine is dessert. And more often than not that dessert involves chocolate.
A meal at a restaurant is nice once in a while. It frees your wife or girlfriend from spending hours preparing a dinner only to see it vanish in under 10 minutes.
And you can take your time with your better half. An evening of quality time spent in a chic bistro, sipping a nice chablis for her, gulping a couple of Coronas for me. A knowing wink, a subtle nod in anticipation of what might come later...snuggling up close together, looking deep into one another's eyes, then gazing intently at...the dessert menu.
What the heck did you think I was talking about. That stuff's not suitable for a blog. And if I wrote about it as often as I got it? Well, let's just say my posts would be, um, intermittent?
Any way, back to the restaurant and...dessert.
Did you know that 7 in 10 women take at least 20 minutes to decide whether or not…
Okay this is just a gratuitous picture of Julie Roberts and has nothing to do with this post other than that she played a call girl in the movie Pretty Woman. She could have been the inspiration for the Roy Orbison song of the same name, but I really can't be sure.
So, on with our little tail (not a misprint).
I think this guy must have been what Jagger and Richards were writing about in that song of theirs. You know the one. Beast of Burden? Yeah, that's it.
A love-lorn lad in Zimbabwe, of all places, says he hired a prostitute, took her home and the next morning woke up with a donkey. Sounds a little like that scene from The Godfather where the guy wakes up next to a horse's head. Our guy didn't wake up with just the head. He woke up with the whole ani-mule.
This is the story our friend Sunday Moyo told after being charged with beastiality. Big surprise, right? He testified in open court that the prostitute "transformed" into a donkey overnight. I tell you…
You tell 'em Philosoraptor. All you drive-bys who peek in but don't leave a comment? You'll never winnit if you're not innit. And what do you win? A fantabulous pic of me hangin' on a clothesline to post on your blog, share on Twitter and Facebook or blow-up, frame and hang over your fireplace. Or throw into your fireplace. Cool, huh? Well, whatever. But more than that, all honourable mentions and winners get free links to their blogs. Now where else will you get such a prize package, huh?
We have the delightful and da lovely Screamin' Me-Me to thank for this week's pic. A former blogger - and an extremely funny one - Me-Me lives just down the road from Quirkyloon in arid Arizona. I don't know if you guys knew this or not but Arizona has the unique distinction of having it's flag designed by the same guy responsible for that 60s animated psychedelic Beatles film Yellow Submarine. Groovy, eh?
So on to the business at hand. Here's our pic, follow…