Skip to main content

Those Tasteless Finns



A couple of weeks ago I told you about my Finnish friend Ziva. She sent me a package of 3 different kinds of candy from her homeland as a gift. Well, Mrs D and I finally worked up the courage to try these little wonders. Hey, we like sweets just like the next person - sweets being the operative word. Alas, what Ziva sent me weren't sweet.

Ziva's house.

Now Ziva, who lives in a tiny little house in a quiet little Turku neighbourhood in Finland, went to a lot of trouble to buy these candies, package them up and ship them to me from Finland. I'm sure she has better things to spend her money on. It was so thoughtful of her the least I could do is eat what she sent me.

I knew we were in for a spot of trouble when I couldn't even open the packages. They were well sealed and I had to forage for a pair of scissors to get at the goodies.

Mrs D and I poured ourselves a glass of water each before we started so as to rinse our palette throughout our little taste test. Well that's what one does, doesn't one?

First up: Salmiakki. Blech. The consistency is like liquorice and I love liquorice but the taste was nowhere near the liquorice I'm used to eating. Turns out salmiakki means "salty liquorice" and salty it was. Wikipedia says the stuff has been referred to as tongue numbing and stinging. Mine still is.

Mrs D and I looked at each other, our eyes wide and then in unison we bolted for the kitchen sink.  After much retching and coughing - and water - we moved on to the package of Tyrkisk Peber, another liquorice candy. Aren't we brave? Except this one, in addition to salt contains pepper, hence the translation of Turkish Pepper. This is a hard candy that you suck on as opposed to chew. The verdict? It sucked all right. Retching, coughing, water. Oh my.

Finally, having lost control of all sensibility, not to mention our sense of taste, we tried the last candy...a little something called Leijona. Wikipedia describes this confection as a Finnish liquorice candy with tar flavouring. Excuse me? Tar flavouring? Bring on the retching, coughing and water!

These Finns have some pretty weird tastes. Or maybe no tastebuds at all after eating these so-called "candies". Hell, it's no wonder the Finns drink so much. It's to get rid of the taste of these damned salt, pepper and tar liquorice candies!

Now how can I show my appreciation to Ziva? What can I send her to return the favour? It has to be something distinctly Canadian. A real Canuck delicacy.

I could send her a pound of poutine.



No, it's best served hot and it'd cool off by the time it got there.

How about a box of maple syrup?



No, that might leak on the way over. Let's see.

Oh, I know.

Something sweet and chocolatey with a wrapper that has a picture of what I imagine Ziva looks like.

Super May West

A May West. A far cry from salt, pepper and tar!

Comments

Cheryl said…
Nice to see you took my suggestion seriously. Water? Pffffft.


I'm glad I don't live in Finland. Can you imagine how sad it must be to live in a one-flavor country?
nonamedufus said…
Mrs D and I tried one candy from each pack. Then we gave the candies to our friends to try. We haven't heard from them. Maybe they're not speaking to us any more.
Nicky said…
Did you think I was exaggerating in the video, Dufus? :-)
Nicky said…
It's funny, but after Mike and I tried them, the bags mysteriously disappeared...
nonamedufus said…
Different people have different tastes, Nicky. Won't buy that, eh? So how long before the tongue numbing cleared up?
nonamedufus said…
That's very odd, Nicky.
Way to be culturally sensitive there, pal. :P (Um, yeah, don't send the candy to me, though...I don't want to be accused of that either :))
nonamedufus said…
You were very sweet to send those candies to me, Ziva. Too bad the candies weren't.
Nicky said…
Ahm sthtill waithing... :-)
Anonymous said…
I have seen that car insurance organizations know the cars and trucks which are at risk of accidents as well as other risks.

Additionally they know what form of cars are given to higher risk as well as higher risk they've the higher a premium rate. Understanding the basic basics associated with car insurance just might help you choose the right types of insurance policy that may take care of your requirements in case you become involved in an accident. Thank you sharing a ideas for your blog.

my web-site; internet dating free
P.J. said…
I can't stand pretty much anything licorice, so I give you major props. Dufus. Major props.
nonamedufus said…
But it's supposed to be sweet. Not salty or tasting like tar. This isn't something to fill your stomach. It's something to fill pot holes.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.


"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise
T…