Skip to main content

Jack Lalanne is Twerkin' in His Grave

Jack: The Whole Package

Jack Lalanne was the Godfather of Fitness. He was also Mr Power Juicer but we won't go there. He died in 2011 at the age of 95. His dedication to fitness and nutrition would appear to have paid off.

But now, I'm sure, he'd be spinning in his grave. Or, perhaps, to be current, twerkin' in his grave.

"What's twerkin'?" I hear you say. (Not really but this narrative works better this way.) Well I'm glad you asked.

You see I've been wondering the very same thing for the last little while until I did a little research. You know, of course, that from time to time I cruise the entertainment websites - places like TMZ and Perez Hilton - where I avidly follow the empty lives of people who's names mean absolutely nothing to me. Well, over the last little while I've come across increasing references to twerkin'. Miley Cyrus does it. You know, Billy "Achy Breaky Heart" Ray's kid? And Rihanna does it. She's that big blunt puffin' so-called singer and Chris Brown punching bag. You know the one.

Now when I first saw this reference I thought it had to do something with Twitter or tweeting, like you know maybe editing your tweet, like tweaking it. But no that wasn't it. Then I thought it was the next big craze like "planking" but I just couldn't imagine how it worked and chalked it up to "kids these days".

Then I thought Miley and Rihanna were studying auto mechanics and were learning how to tweak an engine for higher performance and using today's vernacular called it twerkin'. But no that wasn't it either.

Turns out watching people twerking is like watching someone having sex with their clothes on. Why they'd want to do this, I don't know. To my way of thinking it'd be much easier with their clothes off. But hey, maybe they're practicing safe sex. And that's a good thing.

It seems twerkin' is all about shaking your ass when dancing. And the bigger the ass the better the twerk, apparently. And not just any old shaking. No, there's a method to this ass-shakin' madness. Yeah, no shit. According to Wikipedia the word twerking may be derived from one of two sources:
- a contraction of "footwork", or
- a portmanteau (ooh, big word) of twist and jerk.


Um, guys, that's not quite it. Keep practicing.


Who knew? And who knew twerking was actually part of hip-hop culture making an appearance in 1993 through a record by DJ Jubilee called Do The Jubilee All. My, my, how original. But these days, again according to Wikipedia, twerking is the most popular dance move since the Dougie. I'm not gonna go there. You can look it up.

I'm kinda getting out of my depth here, almost back to those entertainment sites with names I don't know.

I'm not a big dancer. And I haven't tripped the light fantastic for a long, long time. Not since the Swim,  the Mashed Potato or that old favourite the Twist. Okay well maybe the Frug, the Hustle and not to mention the Funky Chicken, the Jerk and the Hokey Pokey. Hey, I can be hip when I want to. Or, at my age,  throw one out.

Having seen examples of twerkin' on those entertainment sites and You Tube I can say with conviction I'm just too old to twerk. I'm sure if I threw something out it wouldn't come back.

Are you still wondering about what the hell I'm talking about? Take a gander at this most informative video. You're welcome...and happy twerkin' mofos. (I don't know what that means either but I hear it a lot these days.)




This whole twerkin' thing is kinda elusive for me, which coincidentally is one of the prompts this week over at Studio 30+. Drop by and check them out.

Comments

Debra She Who Seeks said…
Ugh. Looks too much like exercise to me.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, indeed. For the eyes.
Thanks. Love learning new words even when they're stupid. Enjoyed the video too. Please excuse me me while I go twerkin off.
nonamedufus said…
I'm not even gonna go there.
Indigo Roth said…
Good grief, I have nothing to add to this, tho I appreciate the education. Sorta.
nonamedufus said…
Just part of the public service I provide here. You're welcome and happy twerkin'.
Nicky said…
Well, you learn something new everyday. Sometimes, that's unfortunate.
nonamedufus said…
I'd like to see you practice this, Nicky. It'd be a great workout. You can even do it in stilettos. I'll check back with you later to see how you're doing.
babs (beetle) said…
Oh my word! I'd feel a real *twerp doing the twerk!
*UK slang meaning idiot.
nonamedufus said…
I'm right there with you Babs. Just couple of twerps we are.
Marie Nicole said…
If doing this will have me looking like Rihanna, but not treated like her, then I'm in. Sorry. She's got the looks!
katbiggie said…
Hilarious!!!
nonamedufus said…
Maybe for you but I don't think it would work for me.
nonamedufus said…
Remember the Tubes in the late 70s? Twerkin' reminds me of their song I Slipped My Disco:

I tried to hustle
I tried to bump
I was always steppin'
When it was time to jump

My baby said quit
I told her I wouldn't
If she asked me today
I'd say I couldn't

Slipped my disco--he slipped his disco
Slipped my disco when I was dancing with you, baby
redheadranting said…
Speechless. And a little sorry I had to see that.



Who thinks these things up?
nonamedufus said…
This takes "shake your booty" to a whole new level, don't ya think?
Boom Boom Larew said…
Good lord... the squat alone would kill me.
nonamedufus said…
I'm not gonna go there.
Cheryl said…
When I'm out of this damn no-knee-jerk thing, I'm bringing this video to my physical therapist so she knows exactly what my goals are for rehabilitation. I hope to be twerkin' by October, baby!
meleahrebeccah said…
twerking is flippen HILARIOUS!
nonamedufus said…
Let me know when you start your rehab. That, I've gotta see.
nonamedufus said…
Indeed. How'd you like Jack's package?
Cheryl said…
I'll find out if they'll record my final sessions ~ the ones when I'm not crying like a baby because it hurts too much just to bend my knee.

Popular posts from this blog

Tales From The Supermarket

Bob and Brenda worked in the supermarket. They weren't check-out clerks. And they weren't stock-boys. Brenda sure wasn't. And they weren't employees who worked in the fish section or the deli. No. They were on the shelves.

They hadn't been on the shelves very long but in that short time they'd developed a considerably close friendship.

The chatted all day when the store was busy and at night when the store was closed. They talked about everything. The talked about what raw products they came from. The talked about their manufacturing processes. And they talked about the long routes in semi-trailers that brought them to this store.

Oddly enough the one thing they never made clear to one another was just what product each of them was.

One day when Brenda was commenting on their friendship she told Bob she was grateful for their amity. "Are you Tea?" said Bob, pekoe-ing her way. "I thought I was Tea". You're coffee!"

This week's Tw…

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…