Let me tell you a little story from some years ago.
It was dark. It was stormy. I know, I know that opening is best hidden away. But that's the way it was.
The rain-slicked streets captured the fallen leaves like wallpaper paste. Better? Thank you.
The little ghosts and goblins were out in full force although some older spooks were best hidden away until later as it was only 7pm. But it was the chatter of those pint-sized spirits that filled the air like the sound of chipmunks who knew their nuts were best hidden away. Take that whatever way you want.
And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap - sorry, wrong season. And the wife watching TV and me having a crap, heard the doorbell ring and went into a flap.
Doing what I was doing in the bathroom with the fan on full was best hidden away, so the wife answered the door. "Where are the treats?" she yelled from the front hall. "On the closet shelf" I erupted...and then replied. "Knowing your love of chocolate I thought they were best hidden away until tonight."
She quickly opened the closet door and then screamed. My brother, who, at my insistence, was best hidden away in the closet jumped out at her and yelled "BOO!"
The chocolate bars, intended for the door-to-door Doctor Frankensteins, dropped to the tiled entranceway like lightly dropping hail from the sky as she fatally collapsed onto the floor.
"And where were you when all this occurred?" asked a large policeman a half hour later. "I was best hidden away in the bathroom" I replied, wiping...the tears from my cheek.
But that wasn't the end of the story. Because each year at this time she returns to rattle around the house, chortling and howling and chiding me. "Did you make the bed? Did you do the dishes? Did you take out the garbage?" And the best one of all "Why did you put your brother up to scaring me to death?"
And I, in a vain attempt to block out her unending and unpleasant questions, place my hands over my ears, grateful my current wife - and former mistress - is visiting her mother, because some things are best hidden away.