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Showing posts from May, 2015

Sometimes You Just Wanna Tell People STFU

"You're certainly not very loquacious, are you?" said Fred.

"Lowwhatchis?" responded Ed.

(Notice the alliteration there? Alliterwhatshun? Never mind.)

"You know. You're not very loquacious, not very talkative."

"Huh?"

"You don't say much, you're not chatty or communicative."

"Oh, I see. You think I'm not very voluble, expansive or garrulous. Well, let me tell you I can be gossipy, have the gift of the gab or be overly gassy. I used to be a real motormouth, talk, talk, talk. My mother always told me I must have been inoculated with a gramophone needle. I was so windy people thought a tornado touched down every time I opened my mouth. Talk about being multiloquent, prolix or verbose - that described me to a tee" said Ed, a tad offended.

"Well Fred" said Ed, "but you're so subdued, restrained, quiet and untalkative. What the heck happened?

Ed shared a conspiratorial wink with Fred, and whi…

Size Doesn't Matter

Jane first met Jeffrey at Starbucks. She bumped into him, literally, in the queue. I like that word queue. Hard to spell though. Anyway, Jane bumped into Jeffrey from behind and when he turned around it was like the Friendly Giant was towering over her. That's a Canadian reference. If you're not Canadian, think Jolly Green Giant or the Hulk, but lose the green reference, because Jeffrey wasn't green. But he was friendly and jolly and as they sat together out of necessity at the one remaining table in the store, Jane had to laugh behind her hand because it looked like poor Jeffrey was sitting at one of those tiny school desks of Kindergarten kids.

So they got to talking over their latte grandes, because that's what they call them at that snooty Starbucks, otherwise known as medium coffees with a bit of whipped milk and they discovered they had a lot in common. They both loved the same kind of music, had similar interests in movies and enjoyed the same detective novels …

Bibliofile - April

Well it was another fairly eclectic month on the reading front in April. Several novels from several of my favourite writers. A couple of music industry books. A behind the scenes movie-making book and a dud. That's right, a dud.

I'd read Thomas Pynchon's Inherent Vice in March and although it was a bit of a tough read it had it's moments so I thought I'd give his Gravity's Rainbow a go. Mistake. This was the most complicated and difficult novel I've ever undertaken. I lasted about 150 pages and then threw in the towel...and the book.

The latest Archer and Lehane efforts were excellent but then I buy nearly everything these two put out.

There were two highlights of the month. The first was As You Wish, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of The Princess Bride written by "Wesley" Cary Elwes. If you liked the movie then I find it inconceivable that you won't like this book.

I picked up Bill Buford's autobiography and was pleasantly surpr…