Skip to main content

The Name Game

Image result for chief wahoo

Baseball's Blue Jays didn't make it to the World Series. They lost their best-of-seven series against the Cleveland Indigenous People. Who? you say. Well, I call them that ever since well-known Canadian Aboriginal activist Douglas Cardinal took them to Ontario court in an effort to prevent them from wearing their "Indians" uniforms and using "Chief Wahoo" as their team logo. I understand Cardinal's sentiments but I don't think teams like the Indians or the Braves or the Kansas City Chiefs for that matter are going to change their names unless it's voluntarily. And I whole-heartedly support a change from such offensive monikers.

I'm not a big baseball fan but when Canada's team gets into the playoffs you gotta cheer. I'm more of a National Football League guy. And the NFL isn't without it's offensive team names. For example, how about the Washington Redskins. The Redskins started out in Boston in 1932 and they've remained the Redskins ever since. Having offended Aboriginal people for so long I think it's time they offended white people and changed their name to the Washington Palefaces. Works for me.

The Bengals, the Colts, the Jaguars, the Dolphins, the Broncos, the Bears, the Lions, the Panthers,the Rams - all animals and not a Cow or an Anteater among them. Well we can always hold out hope for an expansion team, maybe.

Seahawks, Cardinals, Eagles, Falcons, Ravens - five teams with bird names. What is this the Audubon Society or a Football League?

While we're at this name change thing I've often wondered about the Buffalo Bills. Why not the Buffalo Bobs, or Brians or in the interest of equal rights Bettys or Barbaras.

The New England Patriots might consider giving equal time to the Traitors. The Cleveland Browns have a whole rainbow to choose from. I'm kinda partial to the Cleveland Crayolas. That way we don't offend any colour. We offend all of them.

The Cincinnati Bengals could change a few letters around and become the Bagels - the first food team in the NFL.

The New York Giants could take a cue from their Canadian neighbours and add the word Friendly to their name. I'd root for them in my little rocking chair by the fire.

Now when it comes to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers why don't they go all the way and just call themselves the Peg Legs?

And finally when it comes to the Dallas Cowboys, maybe it's time in their illustrious history they gave equal time to the Indians. Oh, wait a minute. This is where we all began. Well, that's not gonna work.

Oh, I know. The first letter of the name I treat like it wasn't there. But a B or an F or an M will appear. And then I say bo add a B, then I say the name and Bonana, fanna and a fo. And then I say the name again with an M this time.

Cowboys.
Cowboys Cowboys bo owboys Bonana fanna fo Fowboys
Fee fy mo Mowboys
Cowboys.

The only problem with the Shirley Ellis approach to team names is its an awful lot to fit on the front of a football jersey. But it might make listening to the play-by-play a lot more interesting...and lyrical.








Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.


"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise
T…